Forewarning

The next morning, Qin Qingyan opened her eyes to find the space beside her empty. She reached out and touched the sheets; they were still warm.

When she tried to sit up, soreness shot through her body, especially in that one place. She accepted her fate and lay back down, staring at the ceiling as she replayed everything from the night before.

It wasn’t perfect, but thankfully Yan Yue learned quickly enough. Lying there, Qin Qingyan suddenly understood why Yan Yue had refused to go this far before.

Now that she had given herself completely to Yan Yue, there had been a moment just now when she wondered: if Yan Yue suddenly didn’t want her anymore, what would she do? She loved Yan Yue, so she valued the relationship between them. Once she had decided it was this person, then no matter how far things went, she would be willing.

But if Yan Yue really did abandon her, she would panic, she would be afraid, she would be at a loss. She would use every method she could think of to beg her to stay.

Even she herself found that version of her unfamiliar.

Maybe Yan Yue simply didn’t want her to become that kind of person.

Qin Qingyan lifted a hand over her eyes. It was fine; there were only a few months left. By then, with interest included, she would have all the time she wanted.

She was thinking so hard that she didn’t notice the time. Roughly half an hour later, the door opened. Yan Yue was dressed in casual sportswear and sat down by her bed.

Qin Qingyan lowered her hand and looked at Yan Yue with a hint of grievance, as if accusing her of getting what she wanted and leaving, disappearing first thing in the morning.

Yan Yue looked away, somewhat unnaturally. “Does it still hurt?”

“You think?” Qin Qingyan said.

Yan Yue cleared her throat softly and held out the medicine in her hand. “I just went out to buy some medicine. Do you want to apply it? It should help.”

The words made both of them flush.

“I’ll go out first... I bought breakfast too.” With that, she stood and left in a hurry.

She went to sit on the sofa, picked up the book on the coffee table, and flipped it open at random, but her mind had already drifted elsewhere. Last night had lasted about an hour or two. When she cleaned up afterward, she had caught sight of the swelling and redness there.

She had clearly been very careful. Her movements had been as gentle as could be; how had she still caused an injury?

She took a deep breath, steadied herself, and began to read.

When Qin Qingyan came out after applying the medicine, she saw that Yan Yue was actually reading. Reading! After Yan Yue had tormented her into this state with her lousy technique, she still had the leisure to sit there so calmly.

She went to sit beside Yan Yue and stared at her.

Yan Yue, under that gaze, didn’t even dare to move, much less turn a page.

“You got what you wanted and ran. You disappeared first thing in the morning. You bought medicine and made me apply it myself. You won’t even eat breakfast with me,” Qin Qingyan said, her tone full of quiet complaint.

The more she said it, the more Yan Yue felt that it did seem that way. She had only wanted to get up early, buy medicine to ease Qin Qingyan’s swelling, and buy breakfast on the way so it would be ready as soon as she woke. As for applying the medicine herself, she was worried both of them might feel awkward about it, so she had let Qin Qingyan do it.

But as a partner, even when everything was reasonable, the result could still fall short.

Seeing that the breakfast was still hot, and understanding that Qin Qingyan hadn’t eaten yet, she said, “Then... I’ll keep you company while you eat breakfast?”

Qin Qingyan sat cross-legged and didn’t move. “I don’t want to get up.”

Yan Yue understood and moved the porridge, buns, and tea eggs onto the coffee table.

This time, without Qin Qingyan needing to remind her, Yan Yue naturally picked up the porridge, blew on a spoonful, and held it to her lips. “Try it. See if you like it.”

Qin Qingyan kept her gaze on Yan Yue’s face and opened her mouth to eat.

It was a little salty, but it tasted good. She signaled for Yan Yue to continue.

And so Qin Qingyan finished all the breakfast Yan Yue had bought.

She lay back down with her head on Yan Yue’s lap. Yan Yue gently stroked her hair, and before long, she realized Qin Qingyan had actually fallen asleep, her breathing steady and calm.

Was she really that tired? It had only been an hour or two of being tossed around.

Yan Yue took out her phone and searched Baidu. Only then did the knot in her chest gradually loosen. It wasn’t that she was incapable. Maybe, possibly, Qin Qingyan had simply been too exhausted from work to begin with.

She rubbed Qin Qingyan’s pale, glossy earlobe. It was soft and pleasant to the touch.

Then she gently drew the thin blanket over her.

Qin Qingyan, sleep well. When you wake this time, I’ll be right here.

Outside the Civil Affairs Bureau, there weren’t many people passing by. Li Xian stood at the door, held out the bank card in her hand, and the man hurriedly took it, tucking it into his briefcase as though it were some treasured thing.

“Don’t worry. I’ve already bought my ticket. I’ll leave tonight and definitely won’t show up in front of you again,” the man said.

At first, when Li Xian proposed the deal, he had even been thinking that once they were married, whether to divorce or not would still be up to him; maybe he could squeeze out even more money.

But after learning about the Li family’s background, he became timid. A man like him, ordinary to the core, was never going to beat people like that. Better to be sensible.

Li Xian didn’t say a word. Only after the man got into the car and left did she step down the stairs, not knowing where she was going.

She walked aimlessly along the road. She would rather keep walking like this for the rest of her life, never getting tired, never stopping.

So what if they divorced? So what if they accepted it? Bai Ruo had already left her.

Soon, a fine drizzle began to fall. Li Xian didn’t care and kept walking. When the rain grew a little heavier, those without umbrellas ran for cover, but she continued on.

Quite a few eyes followed her, but she didn’t notice at all. Under the vast sky and earth, it seemed as though only she remained.

Where was she going?

She asked herself.

It wasn’t that there was nowhere she wanted to go; it was that the places she wanted to go, she couldn’t go to.

The world before her began to turn upside down. Her eyelids grew heavy; her body was exhausted. In the end, she knew nothing at all.

When she woke, she was lying in a bed. Everything around her was white, and the smell of disinfectant was very familiar. Turning her head, she saw Li Father beside her, her father.

“Dad... ”

Li’s father hurried over. Looking at her pale face, he was silent for a moment before sighing. “Your body’s weak. And you’re pregnant; you still didn’t know to stay out of the rain. You rely on being young and don’t take it seriously. You’ll have plenty to suffer from when you’re older.”

“Dad, I’m fine. I want to go home,” Li Xian said.

Li’s father opened his mouth, wanting to persuade her to stay a few more days and recuperate, but he held back. “All right.”

Li Xian forced a smile and closed her eyes, her expression weary.

Outside, the sky hung low, as if night had already fallen. The wind was fierce, howling hard.

In the underground parking garage, a man in tattered clothes stumbled forward. His hair was a mess; the hatred in his eyes stood out all the more sharply against his filthy face. He wore shoes so worn they were unrecognizable, and his body lurched unevenly, his left leg seeming unable to bear weight.

Passersby cast strange glances at him, afraid of catching whatever he carried, and hurried away.

The man’s gaze swept across the area before settling on a middle-aged man. He moved toward him step by step. The middle-aged man closed the trunk and opened the driver’s door, then caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror and jumped in alarm; he turned back.

The knife flashed past quickly. He instinctively raised a hand to block it, and screams soon rang out as blood kept pouring down his arm.

Though the man’s body was impaired, the strength in his hand was as sharp and vicious as the malice in his eyes. He swung the knife again. This time, the middle-aged man dodged it and, enduring the pain, clutched his arm and fled in panic, looking back every few steps.

The man got into the car, started it, and drove out with a grim, cold expression.

Only by evening did the weather finally clear. The long-missed sun broke through the clouds, and the wet road reflected a dazzling sheen of light.

Yan Yue held Qin Qingyan’s hand as they came out for a walk after dinner.

There were many couples on the street, arms linked, talking and laughing.

Qin Qingyan looked at a pair not far ahead. She didn’t know what they had done, or whether they had done anything at all, but she somehow smiled. Lifting her head, she looked at the bright sky.

Their joined hands turned into interlaced fingers; the two looked at each other and laughed softly.

Qin Qingyan suddenly leaned close to Yan Yue’s ear and murmured something.

“What?” Yan Yue hadn’t heard clearly.

Qin Qingyan let go and jogged a few steps ahead. “If you didn’t hear it, forget it. It’s not me who’s at a loss.”

The girl wore a baseball cap, with black-rim glasses on purely for decoration. Her smile was bright, even more dazzling than the sun behind her.

When they reached the riverside, the two leaned over the railing and watched the water rise and fall, feeling the river breeze brush past them.

“Once things calm down, let’s go travel,” Yan Yue said, turning to Qin Qingyan. “I want to see the grasslands. Where does Teacher Qin want to go?”

“The grasslands?”

“You want the grasslands too?”

“Mm, because you want to go.”

Yan Yue laughed. “Then besides the grasslands, where else do you want to go?”

Qin Qingyan thought about it carefully, then looked at Yan Yue. “Where do you want to go?”

“I asked you.”

“Wherever you go, I’ll go.”

Qin Qingyan said, “When I’m filming, I’ve been to a lot of places already. For me, travel is more about who I go with. If it’s the right person, then anywhere is good. Like now.”

Yan Yue smiled and turned her head away, looking out over the river, feeling quite pleased.

Qin Qingyan suddenly grabbed the railing on Yan Yue’s right side and caged her in her arms, resting her head on Yan Yue’s shoulder as she looked into the distance.

“Sometimes I wish time would pass faster; sometimes I wish it would slow down,” Qin Qingyan said.

“Why?” Yan Yue asked, turning her head slightly.

Qin Qingyan’s gaze moved from her eyes to the lips so close at hand. She swallowed. “The reason for wanting it to go faster isn’t suitable for children. Wanting it to go slower is because I’m afraid there’ll be too many uncertainties in the future.”

She went on, “Right now, I feel like everything is especially good. So good that it scares me. It’s like a cup filled exactly to the brim; it can’t withstand even the slightest shake.”

Yan Yue turned around and leaned against the railing, looking at her for a long time before speaking. “If it doesn’t flow, then even full water is dead water. If it keeps coming, then even if it spills out again and again, there will still come a day when it’s full.”

A flicker moved through Qin Qingyan’s eyes; then she stepped forward and embraced Yan Yue.

If it was the other woman, then even in a torrential downpour, she could still dance with joy.

By the time the sun was about to set, the two returned hand in hand, talking freely about their future life, not noticing the white car trailing behind them like a ghost.

At the traffic light intersection, Qin Qingyan and Yan Yue were walking at the back, holding hands as they crossed the road.

The white car waited for the right moment. At last, when the man inside saw Qin Qingyan run off to buy a drink, the corners of his mouth pulled into a grin. Because of the dryness, blood had crusted at the edges of his lips, but he didn’t care at all.

He slammed down on the accelerator; the car shot forward at speed, its roar startling the people nearby. Qin Qingyan had just turned around and still didn’t understand what was happening when she heard Yan Yue call her name; the sound made her heart tremble.

Then she was shoved out with all the strength another person had left.

The vicious grin on the man’s face turned instantly to utter panic the moment he saw Yan Yue. His expression was impossible to read as either joy or fear; he desperately stomped on the brake with his good leg.

But it was already too late.