No Jealousy, Just a Hint

The moment her foot hit the brake, Yan Yue turned to Qin Qingyan. “What did you say?”

“I mean, living together would be more convenient; we’d also get to know each other better,” Qin Qingyan said seriously. This was the only way. No matter how many wild bees and butterflies came swarming around, she was confident she could handle them one by one and win.

Yan Yue tapped the steering wheel with her fingers. Letting Qin Qingyan move in for a day or two was fine, but over the long term...

She had thought about it, and she was also inclined to believe Qin Qingyan’s feelings for her were mostly because she had helped her before. Qin Qingyan had some kind of halo of goodwill toward her; maybe what she liked was only the Yan Yue she imagined.

Living together would make all the details of daily life real; it would be easier to see each other clearly.

Yan Yue leaned back in her seat, her gaze falling on some distant point. People came and went at the end of the street; clothes of every color moved back and forth, tangled and lively.

What attracted one pursuer after another was her status, her wealth, and maybe even this face of hers. Strip all of that away, and what remained was the part she thought was truly herself. But that version of her, she didn’t think anyone would choose without hesitation.

Qin Qingyan...

Yan Yue suddenly realized she was actually afraid; afraid that Qin Qingyan’s choice would not be her. When had she started caring about Qin Qingyan this much?

She pulled her gaze back, silent for a moment, then said, “Qin Qingyan, if five years still isn’t enough for you to understand me, then all that means is that we’re not suited for each other.”

The years from eighteen to twenty-three were a shared test for both of them.

After Qin Qingyan got home, she shut herself in her room and carefully replayed every little thing between herself and Yan Yue. From their first meeting in Qingyi Village to their recent separation, she tried her best to recall everything she could.

Outside the window, the sky had already gone dark, and the streets were lit with all kinds of night lights.

When she opened her eyes, all the scenery in her mind vanished, leaving only the room’s cold white walls. Maybe she should be bolder.

The next morning, Qin Qingyan took the initiative to ask Yan Yue out for a meal. She sat in the restaurant, staring at the messages on her phone, nerves tightening in her chest. This nervousness was different from the anticipation that had come from seeing Yan Yue before; this time, she was confirming something—confirming that Yan Yue was not actually as resistant to her as she had imagined.

Not long after, Yan Yue replied. Qin Qingyan hurried to check, and the smile at the corners of her mouth rose uncontrollably.

But Yan Yue had not arrived yet; instead, an uninvited guest did.

Yu Qingyan had also spotted Qin Qingyan. Though the two of them were well aware of certain things, they still had to keep up appearances in public.

“Teacher Qin is waiting for someone?” Yu Qingyan glanced at the two cups already set on the table and asked with a smile.

“Mm.”

“What a coincidence; I’m waiting for someone too, but they haven’t arrived yet.” Yu Qingyan stood there without sitting down. “Teacher Qin is waiting for Xu Shushu?”

Xu Shushu?

“Why would you think I’m waiting for her?” Qin Qingyan asked with a smile.

Yu Qingyan seemed to think carefully about it, her brows faintly knitting. “Teacher Qin doesn’t usually go out to meals with people in the industry. If you deliberately make someone wait here, that person must be rather special to you.”

That much she had guessed right. Qin Qingyan smiled faintly at her and said nothing.

Yu Qingyan suddenly looked apologetic, as if she had said something she shouldn’t have. “Of course, that’s only my wild guess. After watching White Whale, I kept thinking you and Xu Shushu must get along very well.”

She was digging a hole. Qin Qingyan naturally noticed. Just as she was about to speak, someone beat her to it with a smile.

“When I came in, I ran into a few senior executives from Xinli Media. Miss Yu, did you get the wrong place?”

The two of them turned together and looked toward Yan Yue, who was walking over with a smile.

“Yan... Yan 总, so the person Teacher Qin was waiting for is you.” Yu Qingyan’s face went pale in an instant, but she still had to force out an awkward smile.

In front of Yan Yue, she always felt inferior. Qin Qingyan knew all those little tricks of hers; nothing more than secretly tripping people up for a role, or muddling around with Zheng Chong.

But Yan Yue was different. She must have investigated her, which meant she knew everything about the years before.

Just thinking of how other people had once looped a rope around her neck and made her crawl on the ground like a dog made her feel that, in Yan Yue’s eyes, she was nothing more than a dog without dignity.

And the humiliation she had suffered had been far more than that.

Yu Qingyan tightly pinched her fingers, her smile strained. “I thought Teacher Qin only had a special relationship with Xu Shushu. I didn’t expect you to know Yan 总 as well. Well, then, you two talk; I won’t disturb you.”

Qin Qingyan rose with a radiant smile and poured Yan Yue a cup of warm water. Yan Yue said nothing, accepted it with a smile, and finished it in a few swallows. The porcelain cup touched the table with a dull, solid sound; her expression never changed.

Halfway through sitting back down, Qin Qingyan suddenly stopped. There was definitely something in that sound. Her mind spun rapidly, and slowly, almost instinctively, her body straightened. She stood across from Yan Yue.

As if she had thought of some possibility, excitement surged through Qin Qingyan at once. She tested the waters and asked, “Are you mad? Jealous?”

Yan Yue blinked at the question. She was indeed angry, but if she was speaking of jealousy... after thinking about it, there did seem to be a little.

Especially when she heard Yu Qingyan say Xu Shushu and Qin Qingyan had a special relationship. She actually cared about such a small thing?

“I saw the comments about White Whale. Your ‘Qin-Shu’ CP fandom is pretty big. Looking at it that way, what Yu Qingyan said wasn’t wrong; you do have a special relationship,” Yan Yue said slowly.

“That’s just what the fans are shipping. The one I’ve accepted is only you.” Qin Qingyan was in a very good mood; even her voice had softened.

She didn’t know whether Yan Yue was satisfied with that answer, but at least she saw her smile; so she smiled too.

Yan Yue rested her chin in her hand and looked out the window. The view here was excellent, easy to make one feel relaxed. Qin Qingyan glanced outside, then back at Yan Yue, the corners of her mouth lifting unconsciously. It was as if no matter how she looked, it still wasn’t enough.

The dishes were served one by one. They ate while chatting slowly.

“Try this.” Qin Qingyan picked up a chopstickful of meat and put it into Yan Yue’s bowl. Yan Yue gave her face and ate it, then raised a thumb in agreement.

“You and Yu Qingyan, are you close?” Yan Yue asked casually.

“No.” Qin Qingyan thought for a moment. “When I first started filming, she stole one of my scenes.”

“Recognizing a person from one scene isn’t a loss.” Yan Yue said.

“Right. After someone gets famous, all kinds of people crowd around; everyone wears a smiling face, and the heart beneath it is even harder to see through.”

“Your two friends are both decent.” Yan Yue went on. “Yu Qingyan isn’t that simple. Keep your distance from her.”

Qin Qingyan really liked this Yan Yue, who opened her heart to her like this. “Are you worried I’ll get tangled up with her and attract trouble?”

“Less trouble is better than more,” Yan Yue said, cutting her steak. “Even if you do get involved, it’s fine; you have your own backing too.”

Qin Qingyan understood the meaning beneath every word. She smiled softly. Yes, after all, there weren’t many entertainment companies that could compare to Huanfeng, let alone Changyue.

“You’re... caring about me?” Qin Qingyan asked.

Yan Yue gave her a glance. “A hint.”

“Fine, a hint. Then give me more hints in the future; I like hints.”

The two looked at each other and smiled again before going back to their meal.

Somewhere, something seemed to have broken through the soil, waiting only to grow strong.

Days passed quietly and quickly. Perhaps because every day was too similar, the brain filtered out all the repeated fragments; in the blink of an eye, several months had gone by.

Qin Qingyan noticed that Su Yan’s condition had been off recently. She kept spacing out; at first, Qin Qingyan thought there might be something wrong with her body and wanted to take her for a checkup. Su Yan hastily refused, laughing it off and saying she was fine.

Su Yan had always spoken plainly, saying whatever was on her mind, so acting like this only made Qin Qingyan more certain that something was weighing on her.

While they were filming, the crew was busy setting up the scene. During the time Su Yan waited for Qin Qingyan to change clothes, she kept zoning out from time to time, opening her phone to look at a news story, her eyes full of incongruous complexity.

Zheng Chong’s death sentence had been handed down. It was such a gratifying thing; she had looked forward to this day for a very long time, had imagined it countless times—how happy she would be, what she would eat, what she would drink.

But she wasn’t happy at all. She was even somewhat sad, for Cen Qingqing.

She kept glancing toward any empty corner. There was no one there; she was just used to looking that way. Long ago, she had also sat like this, only the person she waited for had become Qin Qingyan.

She waited and waited, all the way to the end, but never saw the figure she had hoped for, and would never see it again.

Inside the hospital, Bai Ruo had an IV hanging from her hand; she leaned weakly and clingily against Li Xian’s shoulder, slow and sticky as honey.

“Don’t go. I’m a patient too; you have to take care of me more.” Bai Ruo said.

“I am taking care of you,” Li Xian coaxed her, hands deftly peeling an apple. “All right, all right; let me finish peeling you an apple first.”

Bai Ruo watched her hands, so absorbed she stared at the thin strip of peel to see whether it would break. In the end, it came off in one long, complete ribbon; when it was tossed into the trash, Bai Ruo actually felt a little sorry.

“Doctor Li, your technique is really good,” Bai Ruo said, burying her face against her neck. “Good in other ways too.”

Li Xian’s ears warmed. She knocked her on the head and pushed her away. “Eat your apple. There are lots of people here; mind the impact.”

“I’m not afraid; I’d love for everyone to know.” Bai Ruo opened her mouth in invitation.

Li Xian sighed inwardly, then used the knife to cut a small piece and held it to her lips. Bai Ruo ate it with complete satisfaction.

When Su Yan and Qin Qingyan came to visit, this was the scene they saw. The door wasn’t locked, but Qin Qingyan still knocked symbolically.

The two people who had been glued together looked up at them, surprised and delighted.

The four of them chatted and laughed. Bai Ruo bit into her apple and raised a brow at Su Yan. “Want a bite?”

“Get lost,” Su Yan shot her a glare.

“No taste,” Bai Ruo said. She hadn’t really planned to give her any anyway; she just wanted to tease her.

Qin Qingyan glanced at the saline drip that was almost finished and asked, “It’s just a cold; nothing else, right?”

“No. I caught a chill sleeping last night,” Li Xian said.

At that, Su Yan bumped Bai Ruo’s knee with hers. “You’re grown enough to catch a cold just from sleeping?”

Bai Ruo snorted coldly. When it came to bickering with Su Yan, she had no reason to lose, and absolutely could not lose. “Of course you, a single dog, wouldn’t know. I sleep with my darling; sharing a bed, all that sweetness and affection—who still has the time to worry about being cold?”

As usual, Su Yan let out a contemptuous huff, but the thing on her mind left her with no energy to keep arguing.