Chapter 30

Yu Changning’s breathing hitched; then she said, “I thought you’d already guessed.”

Chu Yunmiao shot her a glare. “Of course I guessed, but, but...”

She puffed out her cheeks. It took her a long while before she could force out what was truly on her mind. “Why didn’t you look for me? Why didn’t you talk it over with me? Why did you really, really agree to leave me for so long...”

By the end, her voice was so soft it was almost a murmur.

But Yu Changning heard every word.

She lifted Chu Yunmiao’s chin and said in a low voice, “Are you sure you want to question me here? Let’s change places.”

Chu Yunmiao glanced toward the Banquet Hall, then reached out and pushed her away.

She turned and walked out. Behind her, Yu Changning said, “I’ll wait for you at the old place.”

Chu Yunmiao kept walking, giving no sign of whether she had heard her or not.

After she had gone for a while, Yu Changning also left.

She headed steadily toward one of the secret gardens she remembered most clearly, as if certain Chu Yunmiao would definitely come.

The White Chapel in the Imperial Palace was the first place Yu Changning had ever seen Chu Yunmiao. Back then, the Emperor and Empress had been trying on wedding dresses there, and Yu Changning, invited as a flower girl, had met Chu Yunmiao, who was also a flower girl. Everyone in the Imperial Palace had been busy with the wedding, and the two children had played together; from then on, they formed a deep bond. Later, they often made appointments to meet here, sharing those little secrets the adults were never allowed to know amid the bustle and moonlight.

Yu Changning didn’t know how long she waited. All she remembered was the moon moving from the center of her brow to the top of her head.

Chu Yunmiao had already changed into another outfit. Her simple dress was unadorned, but it outlined the graceful curves of a young girl’s figure.

When she saw Yu Changning, she drew a deep breath, then quickly walked over and sat down beside her, just as she often had in the past.

For a long time, neither of them spoke. They were both immersed in the priceless memories of a childhood that could never be reached again. Suddenly, a cool breeze swept by. Yu Changning came back to herself, adjusted her posture, and blocked the wind, sheltering Chu Yunmiao in the shadow of her body.

Chu Yunmiao looked up at her, then suddenly bent over and buried her face in her knees.

The moment she took that posture, she heard Yu Changning laugh. “Weren’t you the one who came to question me? Why are you acting like such a little ostrich?”

Chu Yunmiao stiffened and turned her head away in anger, refusing to look at her.

Yu Changning didn’t keep silent for long. She moved closer and said, “I didn’t get the chance today...

“Yunmiao, happy birthday.”

Chu Yunmiao answered mechanically, “Thanks.”

“I prepared a birthday present for you,” Yu Changning said. “I already asked Yunhuan to send it to your residence. Remember to look when you get back later.”

Chu Yunmiao blinked.

She hadn’t expected Yu Changning to actually get her second younger sister to deliver the gift, and asked in confusion, “...Why didn’t you just give it to me yourself?”

“Wait until you see it,” Yu Changning said.

Chu Yunmiao pouted.

After thinking about it, she asked, “Over the years, Mother... hasn’t she made things too difficult for you?”

Yu Changning looked up at the sky. “What counts as too difficult?”

Countless possibilities flashed through Chu Yunmiao’s mind, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any of them.

Yu Changning’s expression remained faint, as if she weren’t talking about something she had personally experienced. “The Emperor should have paid attention to me from time to time. When I first entered the military, the assignments I received weren’t things a newcomer would normally be allowed to touch...”

Chu Yunmiao’s face went pale for an instant. “Then you...”

Yu Changning smiled. “But I also have to thank the Emperor. If not for her, or for someone acting on her orders and arranging things in the dark, I couldn’t possibly have earned those accomplishments in such a short time.

“She said I’d broken our agreement by becoming your instructor. In truth, I really wasn’t secretly manipulating things behind the scenes. Because I advanced too quickly, the Military Department had to wait until I’d received my diploma before I could continue working. After I returned to school, the remaining courses weren’t of much benefit to me, so the school arranged for me to take over the position of your original instructor.”

Chu Yunmiao nodded thoughtfully.

“So it really was just a coincidence.”

Yu Changning looked at her innocent expression and sighed. “Not entirely.”

Under Chu Yunmiao’s confused gaze, she spoke the truth of what she had really thought back then. “If you hadn’t happened to be in that class, I would have refused.”

Chu Yunmiao’s heart began to race. She lowered her head and deliberately avoided looking at Yu Changning. “If you refused, how were you going to get your credits?”

Yu Changning asked back, “Do you think I’m the kind of person who lacks credits?”

Chu Yunmiao didn’t know what to say.

But the waves of joy rising in her heart were undeniable, now that she realized Yu Changning had taken over as their class instructor because of her.

Yu Changning gazed into the distance, seeming to sink into some memory, and said very softly, “When we met again, even though you still weren’t twenty yet, it was obvious you’d already become a very mature adult. You were guarded against me, even disliked me; you were completely different from how you used to be when we were together.”

Chu Yunmiao bit her lip. “Shouldn’t I hate you? You left for five years without saying a word.”

Yu Changning only said, “Don’t hate me, Yunmiao.”

Chu Yunmiao drew a deep breath.

At last, she asked the question she had been holding in her heart for so long. “If you knew it would be like this now... why did you agree to Mother’s request in the first place?”

Yu Changning answered without hesitation this time. “I needed to stand beside you under a more suitable identity.”

Chu Yunmiao was somewhat agitated and stood up at once.

“Don’t dodge the point. You know that’s not what I’m asking!” Since the words were already out, she stopped being coy. She stared straight into Yu Changning’s eyes and said word by word, “You clearly had a better way. Even if Mother wouldn’t allow it, you could have told me in secret!”

She demanded, “You didn’t trust me, did you? Did you think I’d be so willful that, just because I was worried about you, I’d refuse to let you go to the military for training? Did you think I’d be so selfish that I’d stop you from going to university just because I didn’t want to be apart from you?”

Yu Changning said, “Of course not.”

She took Chu Yunmiao’s arm. “You’ve always been very sensible. I never doubted that.”

“Then why?” Chu Yunmiao’s eyes stung a little. “You clearly could have chosen a gentler way, but you insisted on keeping me in the dark. Did you ever think, ever think that I’d be very upset...”

Unable to contact her best friend, not being able to see her for five whole years, taking a long time to confirm the fact that she had been cut off...

Thinking back on all of it now, Chu Yunmiao only felt unbearably wronged.

Yu Changning pressed her lips together, her grip on Chu Yunmiao’s hand growing tighter and tighter.

Under Chu Yunmiao’s gaze, she nodded. “I knew you would be very upset.”

Chu Yunmiao didn’t know whether she should be surprised. Hearing this answer from Yu Changning made her feel as if all the strength had suddenly drained from her body—

Knowing full well it would hurt her, Yu Changning had still chosen the cruelest way to say goodbye.

For a moment, she didn’t know how to face Yu Changning after such a choice, and reached out, wanting to push away the hand that was holding hers.

But Yu Changning did not let her.

She looked at Chu Yunmiao. “I’m sorry, Yunmiao; I made you sad for a very long time.” When Chu Yunmiao tried to break free a second time, she spoke again. “But I had reasons I couldn’t do it any other way.”

As soon as she said that, Chu Yunmiao really did stop moving.

She looked at Yu Changning again. “What ‘couldn’t do it any other way’ reason?”

Yu Changning lowered her wrist, releasing her arm, and instead took her hand. “I said it before. You may have forgotten.”

Once more, she repeated the deepest desire in her heart. “I don’t want to be your friend.”

The words were very simple, but they caused Chu Yunmiao’s brain to go blank for several seconds.

Yu Changning tilted her head, recalling what had happened back then. “I actually hesitated. I had many chances to hint at it to you. But... in the end, I still didn’t do that. When we met for the last time, I was really on the verge of saying it, but at that time...”

She paused, steadying the turbulent emotions inside her before continuing. “Back then, you were planning to take Yunhuan and Yunli to Huaqi University to see me in the future. I asked you whether I or Yunhuan and Yunli were more important, and you said I was just like them; you couldn’t tell the difference.”

As she spoke, Chu Yunmiao also remembered that day.

It was a long-ago memory, somewhat hazy to her. She had even forgotten whether those words Yu Changning was quoting had really come from her own mouth. But now that she thought about it, they probably had been true. If she really had to choose then between Yu Changning and her biological younger sisters, she truly wouldn’t have been able to define it.

Seeing the expression on her face, Yu Changning gave a bitter smile. “At the time, I thought that since we’d grown up together, even though you were never willing to call me sister, in your heart you probably still treated me like a sister, just like Yunhuan and Yunli.”

Chu Yunmiao instinctively wanted to refute that. She opened her mouth, but didn’t know how to say it.

Had she ever treated Yu Changning like an older sister?

Perhaps she had.

Back then, their relationship had truly been too good; they were inseparable. The Dowager Empress and Empress were both very reassured leaving the tiny Long Princess in Yu Changning’s care. When Chu Yunmiao was little, she didn’t have many friends her own age; Yu Changning had taught her a great many things, and she relied on and grew close to such a good companion.

That kind of feeling was too shallow to call mere friendship, and perhaps it had already brushed the border of family affection.

Seeing that she seemed to be grasping at a clue, Yu Changning pinched her fingers. “But you know I didn’t want to be your ‘good friend,’ and I definitely didn’t want to be your sister.”

Chu Yunmiao’s face suddenly flushed red. She tugged lightly, but couldn’t free her fingers, and could only mutter in feigned ignorance, “I don’t know...”

“Then do you know now?” Yu Changning’s tone carried a light, cheerful lift, clearly very satisfied with her reaction.

Chu Yunmiao’s face looked expressionless, but her mind was already on the verge of exploding—

She didn’t want to be friends, didn’t want to be sisters, yet still placed her in the most special position. Yu Changning was trying to...

The answer was almost on the tip of her tongue, but Chu Yunmiao didn’t dare take another step forward.

She tried to turn away in retreat. “It’s late. I’m going back.”

“Wait.” Yu Changning gripped her shoulders, forcing Chu Yunmiao to face her directly. “I still have the last few words I want to say.”

Chu Yunmiao looked into her eyes; her own face grew redder and redder. “W-what do you want to say?”

“Yunmiao...” Yu Changning deliberately lowered her voice.

Her voice was already beautiful; lowered like this, it became even more bewitching and alluring. “I’m very sorry that I’m not the kind of person you remember... I’m actually a very selfish person.”

Chu Yunmiao blurted out, “You’re not.”

At that, Yu Changning curved her lips.

Only then did Chu Yunmiao realize what she had just said; she bit her lip in annoyance.

She made up her mind not to say another word no matter what Yu Changning said next.

Yu Changning went on, “I’m very happy that you’ve finally grown up, and that I’ve also passed the Emperor’s test. From now on...”

She asked very seriously, “I will begin pursuing you as someone who admires you.”

Chu Yunmiao nearly forgot how to breathe.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t expected to hear something like this; it was just that she had never thought Yu Changning would be able to say it so directly. More importantly, that sentence wasn’t a request at all, but a simple declarative statement. Yu Changning was informing her of a fact.

The more she processed the meaning behind those words, the hotter Chu Yunmiao’s face became.

After a long while, she tried once more to pull her hand free and broke the silence. “You can let go of me now, right?”

Perhaps because everything she needed to say had already been said, Yu Changning didn’t use any more force this time; Chu Yunmiao slipped out of her grasp with ease.

Yu Changning let out a slow breath. “You’re tired, right? Go back and rest early.”

Chu Yunmiao gave a nasal “Mm” and fled as if escaping.

At the corner, sheltered by the flower bushes, she cautiously looked back once; Yu Changning was still standing where she had been, her gaze gently following her. Being caught in the act of turning back made Chu Yunmiao even more flustered, and she hurriedly quickened her pace before disappearing into the night.

After finally making it back to her residence, having blown wind all the way, the heat in her cheeks only gradually began to cool.

Chu Yunmiao habitually walked toward the bed. Passing the sofa, she saw several exquisitely wrapped gift boxes.

She froze for a moment, then suddenly remembered that these must be the birthday gifts Yu Changning had mentioned, sent over by Chu Yunhuan.

Once she thought of that, everything about Yu Changning rushed back into her mind again. Chu Yunmiao shook her head, trying to shake the other woman out of it, but only accomplishing something completely useless. Resigned, she sat down by the sofa and prepared to deal with these hot potatoes.

“Why are there so many?” the Imperial Crown Princess muttered as she looked at all six gift boxes, feeling a little troubled.

She picked up the one in front. A satin ribbon was tied beautifully around it, and a light tug loosened it. There was a card on top of the box; Chu Yunmiao picked it up and read.

[Happy 15th birthday, Yunmiao...]

Reading this line, Chu Yunmiao suddenly realized that the six boxes in front of her should each be birthday gifts for her 15th through 20th birthdays. The two of them had been separated for five years; Yu Changning had missed six of her birthdays and was now making up for all of them at once.

Inside the box was an uncut raw pink diamond. According to what Yu Changning had written on the card, it was the spoils she’d obtained from her first mission after returning to the Military Department.

[Skithia is in an ice age; everything is covered in snow. Strangely, though, countless gems are hidden in the mines beneath the ice. The moment I set foot on this land, I knew you would like it. Unfortunately, this time I arrived alone. I hope next time we’ll have a chance to come here together and go on an adventure, using this raw stone I brought back as the invitation.]

Chu Yunmiao held the brilliant stone in her hand, unable to calm her emotions for a long time.

She tried to imagine how Yu Changning must have felt during those five years apart—

Unlike her, Yu Changning had no target to blame or resent. In the days they spent apart, she had to face brutal real-world training and the torment of longing; the suffering she endured would only have been many times greater than hers.

Thinking of that, Chu Yunmiao started to feel sorry for Yu Changning again. Compared with that, she suddenly felt that she herself hadn’t really suffered all that much.

When it came to being wronged, Yu Changning was surely the one who had borne more.

Chu Yunmiao let out a soft sigh.

She looked up at the window. Moonlight filled the sky like water, bathing her in its glow, and also bathing another person who was full of tangled thoughts.

The Long Princess unconsciously curved her lips, revealing a smile she herself hadn’t even noticed.

——

The next day.

The birthday banquet was over, but Chu Yunmiao was still on vacation. At noon that day, the family gathered again for a meal.

Shu Yan’yan suddenly asked Yunmiao, “Sweetheart, where did you go last night?”

Chu Yunmiao looked at her in confusion. Shu Yan’yan then said, “After the banquet ended, I went to your residence to find you, but you weren’t there. Instead, I saw Yunhuan.”

Second Princess Chu Yunhuan sensed something and said nothing, burying her face in her bowl and eating very earnestly.

Chu Yunmiao had no choice but to explain, “Mm... I really wasn’t there then. I... went to chat with Changning over by the chapel.”

“Yu Changning?” Shu Yan’yan nodded and smiled. “You’ve made up again? That’s wonderful.”

Chu Yu lowered her head and drank her soup, making her expression impossible to see.

But she was unhappy, and Chu Yunmiao was even more angry.

Using Shu Yan’yan’s words as a lead-in, she looked at her own mother and said, “Strictly speaking, Changning and I never even had a fight. Mother... why did you force Changning to keep her distance from me?”

She laid things out plainly; at the dining table, everyone’s gaze focused on the family’s head, Chu Yu.

Second Princess and Third Princess even remembered to quietly give their older sister a thumbs-up while enjoying the show—

Awesome! She actually dared to go head-to-head with Mother.

Chu Yu was now riding a tiger and couldn’t get off, so she admitted, “She wasn’t suitable to stay by your side.”

Chu Yunmiao argued forcefully, “I think I have the right to decide who gets to be my friend and who gets to be my enemy. No matter what flaws Changning may have, that’s between me and her. How can Mother be so domineering and interfere with my social life without permission? And without me knowing anything about it!”

She could understand Chu Yu’s actions, but that didn’t stop her from being angry.

The accounts with Yu Changning would have to be settled slowly in the future, but that didn’t mean she would let her own mother off just because she was confused.

Shu Yan’yan and the Dowager Empress were both extremely shocked. The Dowager Empress asked, “Chu Yu, is this true?”

She muttered, “No wonder Changning went to university and then... Oh dear, you were far too willful.”

Chu Yu’s face was a little red; whether from anger or from shame after realizing her mistake, it was hard to tell.

But she still refused to admit fault. “Yunmiao was still young back then; how could she possibly have had fully developed judgment? I just did what a mother should do.”

Chu Yunmiao was very serious. “I don’t like it, Mother.”

She pressed her lips together and earnestly voiced her opinion. “I’m grateful for how much you care about me. But when it comes to private feelings... I hope I have absolute autonomy. I’m not refusing your guidance; I just hope that in the future, no matter what you want to do, you can tell me in advance and do it only after getting my consent. Can you?”

Chu Yu secretly rolled her eyes, thinking: If I had been confident I could get your consent back then, would I have needed to go behind your back and find that bastard? She had also wanted to persuade their Long Princess with reason and emotion and keep Yu Changning far away, but by the time she realized something was wrong, it was already too late!

After thinking it over, she vaguely said, “We’ll see.”

Chu Yunmiao was rarely this firm. “No!”

She wrinkled her nose, half acting spoiled and half making a demand. “No ‘we’ll see.’ I want to know everything about myself!”

Chu Yu was about to speak again, but the Dowager Empress glared at her and shut her down. “You’re such an old hand at this, so how is it that even Yunmiao understands these principles and you’re still pretending not to?”

She clearly sided with Chu Yunmiao. “Even if you’re Yunmiao’s mother, you can’t use that kind of method to control her; not while hiding it from her, either.”

Chu Yu had the helpless feeling of having a hundred mouths and no way to defend herself. “Mom... I wasn’t controlling Yunmiao...”

The Dowager Empress frowned. “Then doesn’t that count as controlling her?”

Chu Yu looked at her wife, hoping for support; who would have thought Shu Yan’yan would also shake her head. “I also think your way of doing things wasn’t quite right.”

Chu Yu...

Chu Yu shut down completely!

Chu Yunmiao secretly stuck out her tongue, then switched to a gentler tactic. “Mother, don’t be angry.

“I’ll forgive you for what happened before. Just promise me that if anything like this happens again, you’ll discuss it with me first, okay?”

Chu Yu said, “Do whatever you want.”

Seeing her like that, Chu Yunmiao grew a little worried and looked to Shu Yan’yan for help.

Shu Yan’yan quietly waved at her, signaling that she needn’t worry, and used her eyes to tell her she could handle this big troublemaker, the Emperor, just fine.

Chu Yunmiao immediately let out a breath.

She quickly finished the food on her plate, bade the elders farewell, and slipped out of the dining room. Chu Yunhuan and Chu Yunli saw this and also sped up their eating, soon following behind her.

When the Dowager Empress also left and only Chu Yu and Shu Yan’yan remained in the dining room, Chu Yu finally showed a wronged expression and complained to her wife, “You didn’t even side with me...”

Shu Yan’yan straightened her chest. “I’m helping the side of reason, not family. Cough, no... Yunmiao is our family too, so I’m standing on the side of justice.”

Chu Yu frowned. “You also think I was in the wrong?”

Shu Yan’yan nodded; putting herself in Chu Yunmiao’s shoes, she said, “If, and I mean if, Mother hadn’t taken a liking to me and had insisted on making me leave you, how would you have felt? Yunmiao is already grown; she has the ability to take responsibility for everything herself. And she said it already; she’s not stopping you from disciplining her, she just doesn’t want you hiding things from her. I think that’s all perfectly acceptable, isn’t it?”

She looked at Chu Yu. “Besides, how could you do something so domineering?”

Chu Yu had grievances but no way to voice them.

She didn’t want to tell Shu Yan’yan about her own troubles and make her worry along with her. More importantly, she couldn’t explain Chu Yunmiao’s real situation, because the fact that their eldest daughter had differentiated into an Omega was still being hidden from Shu Yan’yan and the Dowager Empress.

So Chu Yu, unable to say anything at all, could only sigh helplessly.

Shu Yan’yan patted her shoulder in consolation. “All right, don’t be sad.

“Isn’t there a saying that children and grandchildren have their own blessings? Worry less about them. Yunmiao is a sensible, kind child; I believe she won’t be bullied!”

Cheered up by her wife, Chu Yu’s mood improved quite a bit.

Though there was still some reluctance in her heart, she nodded and agreed with a low “Okay.”

Shu Yan’yan then let out a long breath; the two of them looked at each other and smiled in mutual affection.